Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Writing again...

I've just been writing for the last four hours doing some really difficult, emotionally complex scenes in the novel I'm working on. I've realised that some of my characters are still unpredictable for me, which is difficult but makes the process really interesting. I know quite clearly where the story is going for the next 50 pages or so, but it's still developing realtively spontaniously. I'm 50 pages in already and i'm only just finishing the character introductions and setting the scene, i know that sounds too long but I want the book to be indepth and not superficial, using stereotypical, predictable characters. It's 2:20am now and I feel thoroughly drained.
I've also been trying to do sketches of animals for a CG animation me and Jamie are thinking about using rats as the main characters. I was never too good at characatures or cartoons though, and didn't really strive to be good coz it never interested me much (i was always aiming for realism...or surrealism) so it's a real challenge. The biggest problem is the eyes, i think you have to change the eyes to make them more relatable as characters, but i don't want to change them so much they look odd (as my sketches are looking at the moment.) Oh well...
I'm so confused at the moment, i really want to achieve something in my life in terms of my creativity but my energies are so scattered coz i'm trying to do so many things at once. I can never seem to just commit to one thing and just finish it and...as stupid as this sounds...I feel like I'm running out of time and that i've wasted to much of my life. At 26, I'm probably too young to be feeling like this but i had so many expectations of myself when i was in my teens and none of them included working a 9 to 5 in an office wearing a suit...the story of so many lives, hey. I thought I'd be well on my way to something by my early 20's but i spent that time in a dead end relationship doing drugs and being depressed and crazy. They only good thing i achieved at that time was completing my degree, and i barely managed to do that. I only got back on the right track about two years ago..maybe less.
Enough of my moronic whining, onwards and upwards...
If it hadn't have been for Jamie I may never have picked any of this stuff up again...thank you sweet heart x


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